you-make-it-happenxx:

A ghost could be giving you a sexy lap dance right now and you wouldn’t even know.

ignitionremix:

every little boy that has gone up to some girl that they don’t know and said “my friend wants to go out with you” and then laughed about it to their friends like they just said the funniest joke in the world needs to go to hell

sfux:

i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

cofeecigarettes:

cj-twig:

i want kids but i dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but i dont wanna adopt either because i want them to be mine do you see my problem

basically you want to be a father

this is the most accurate thing i ever read

big-booty-itches:

when your parents ask you to help them with technology

run-cause-hitler:

enayalate-h8-this-year:

bbanditt:

slett:

winchestercodependency:

ibecameacat:

what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do

dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off

“People with vaginas”

what are those called again

I can’t remember

this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for 

fruffian:

why isn’t anyone unhealthily obsessed with me 

friendlycloud:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

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